Being needy

One of the weird things about being fragile and weary is that as much as I want to reach out and have a listening ear, I can't bring myself to steer conversations in the directions I "need". Seems egocentric. I don't think it's a matter of pride; more that once we've broached the topic a first time, it seems sad to loop back to the same troubles and concede that they haven't moved much. Perhaps it's because I've been on the other end, giving my time and my empathy to people who didn't quite appreciate it, and I just ended up getting drained and feeling used. (No party who has ever been given the right to read this is part of that set, lest you worry.)

Loneliness is by far my biggest fear...not just the state of involuntary solitude, but of feeling alone in what I experience.